Zombie Kickball 2010

In which Monkey falls in love, finds out that Michael Jackson is not dead and takes candy and gifts from undead strangers.

Fabulous Music Friday

I realize this will come as a terrible shock to most of you, but I have a past I have not written about before.  I am actually a most musical simian.  Yes, it's true.  I've played in bands (that disturbing calliope engagement doesn't count…. ahem.)  


Several of my friends are quite good at finding the most abominable music videos on the internets.  I am charging myself with the opposite duty.  Each Friday (or Saturday morning… cough), I will endeavor to find the most fabulous music, thereby spreading joy and perhaps convincing several people to send me bananas in undying gratitude.  But I digress.  

Our first video is from the fabulous Lady Lamb the Beekeeper.  I confess… I have an unseemly crush on this woman, and I stalk her facebook page.  But she doesn't know I exist, due to the fact that facebook doesn't allow monkeys to have their own pages.  (Excuse me for a moment while I throw an undignified tantrum.) 

Why I Won’t Be Illustrating My Book

New Packaging


Some of you noticed my new packaging and have asked pesky questions.  (Some of you need a swift bonk on the noggin.)  However, I will now endeavor to tell the tale of said packaging and how it came to pass.  First, I searched on the internets until I found a web design company willing to work with me.  

Two intrepid souls at  iKnow Web Design (Kevin and Dave), put their reputation and concern for their safety aside and agreed to meet with me, Monkey.  I had to journey into the big city of Portland to find their office.  



Upon arrival I realized they needed some assistance.  I quickly organized some bananas they had laying about and repaired their printer.  I attempted to give Kevin detailed instructions, but became distracted by a cache of snacks he had hidden in his ear.  

You can plainly see Cuz and Purple awaiting their turn at the buffet line. 

Soon it became clear that I would need to take matters into my own paws.  I am a master of technology  as you will no doubt recall.  

Note my adept keyboard work.   My skillful mouse work. 




Please send bananas.  Thank you.  

Editor's Note:  After we performed CPR on Kevin, I am happy to report that he and Dave made an absolutely beautiful website.  Working with them was a joy and they made the process incredibly easy.  So easy, even Monkey can use it.  Now I must depart, before I am bitten.  

Zombie Kickball 2010

I will be risking my life and limb once again to bring you live (sort of) coverage of the 2010 Zombie Kickball.   For your ghoulish pleasure

For more information, please go to the ubiquitous facebook page.  

Zombie Kickball 2008

I’m Back

Your eyes do not deceive you. I am indeed, back.  Back from where you ask?  Oh the darkest regions of your imagination cannot go where I have been… so let’s not discuss it.

Some things have changed.  For one, I’ve lost a considerable amount of fur and I’m a trifle sensitive about it, so resist the hairless cat and bald jokes, if you please.  I also have cataracts, which make it difficult to see when people are making rude gestures in my direction.  But my sense of smell is still quite keen and I assure you, I can smell derision.

Purple is still my best friend, sidekick and Majordomo. He has however, given up drinking for meditation. He keeps admonishing me to “return to the cushion”, but I have no earthly idea what he is babbling about.


The largest and most alarming change in our household is the discovery of my long lost relation “Cuz”.

He is the one wearing the sweater. Note his shocking Bay City Rollers hairdo. The animal we are checking for fleas and other foodstuffs is Mr. Burgundy. He provides take out.

Some things have not changed. Our method of conveyance is the same.


We still suffer the indignities of being used as hat wear.




(note I am in a dead faint)


The boy and his friends are still unmercifully cruel. I shall not subject you to photographic evidence of that particular horror. I do, however, have miles of video…

All in all, it is a pleasure to be here, to suffer the slings and arrows of your mockery and adulation. Your ridicule and devotion. Your contempt and applause.

But I digress. Did you bring bananas? Thank you.

Local Library Visits

Monkey will be visiting local libraries in September and October to look for books on bananas. If you would like Monkey to visit your library, please contact him!

Monkey Goes To The Dump

I visit our local Dump, explain the vagaries of recycling and meet an unexpected friend.

Do Purple and I Fight?

People ask me, they say, "Monkey, you and Purple spend so much time together. Do you ever fight?" Indeed, we do fight. While on our vacation a fight started over maple syrup… in a fashion.

It started at breakfast. Purple was allowed to sit on the breakfast table, among the muffins, bananas and coffee. I was held in the sticky fingers of the boy, until I was literally painted with maple syrup. The reason given for my being concealed on a lap, while Purple enjoyed a view and a prime seat was this: "Purple is dressed. You're naked."




Upon returning to the room, there were nefarious plans afoot. I was to take a bath with maple syrup boy. I leapt out the window onto some shrubbery, but not before sharing harsh words with Purple.



Purple took to drink.





Please send clothes. I'm a size preemie.




Thank you.